When You Don't Know What To Say?

Last night I learned that a childhood friend is in jail. She reached out to me through a family member and wanted me to write her a letter. While we haven't spoken in years there has always been something that draws me to her. Maybe it's that I knew her before, I was friends with her before, maybe I saw her potential before . . .before lots of bad decisions, that led to worse ones, that led to some very dark and difficult places.

What do I say to her? Do I tell her that I'm a stay at home mom, that I have 3 awesome adorable kids, that my husband works 2 jobs and just finished his Master's Degree? Do I tell her how I'm surrounded by great friends and family. And how I never have to worry about where my next meal is coming from or where I'm going to stay tonight? I mean really. She doesn't want to hear about my wonderful life. What do I say to her?

Well, here is what I said. I've changed some names and locations for privacy purposes.

Hi Lucy,

I have to be honest. I’m not really sure what to say here. It feels awkward to say “How are you?” I mean, I’m writing you a letter in jail. You’re probably like “Well, I’m in jail stupid, how do you think I am?”  So we’ll just skip the formalities and turn the clock back about 15 years.  You know back when we first became friends. Back when we were inseparable. Back when we went to the pool every hot summer day, we went to youth group and visited your dad for weeks on end. 

Do you remember sitting at the pool on that wooden picnic table under the shelter using the phone book to look up people’s phone numbers to call them and ask them to come to the pool? It kind of makes me feel old to write that, I mean we had to use phone books, and didn't have cell phones! Do you remember playing wall tag and shark and marco polo? Do you remember walking to the store for drinks and snacks?

Do you remember the time we road your four wheeler all the way to that old store and our parents were furious? Do you remember making “homemade” facials out of eggs? And staying up late watching movies, and eating popcorn and painting our nails? 

Do you remember visiting your dad and walking to that old ice cream shop? Oh and that cheese dip he used to make, yum! I think we ate cheese dip every night for weeks. And those oatmeal butterscotch cookies Susan made. It’s funny that I remember so much about the food, guess I’ve always had a thing for it.

Boy, things have changed since then, huh? We went two very different ways. I don’t know much about the world you’ve been in for years now. But from the outside looking in, I can see that it’s hard. Really hard. That it cuts deeply and breeds bitterness and desperation. And while I don’t know what you’ve done, I want you to know, it doesn’t really matter to me. I’m not here to judge you. I’m sure you’ve had enough of that, probably a lot from yourself. 

I’m just here to let you know that you have a friend, and I’m praying for you. You may not believe me, but Glen and I have prayed for you, specifically you, by name almost every night for 8 years now. I want you to know that no sin, no conviction, no abandonment, no selfishness is too great for God to forgive. He is willing to offer hope and salvation to all who confess, repent and believe in Him. And man is He good at changing lives! His love, His grace is sufficient for me and it is for you too Lucy. 1 Timothy 1:15 says that Jesus came to save the sinners. Not the pious, not the ones who have their life together, He came for the sinners, He came for me and for you friend.

So, I’m not sure what you were expecting to find in a letter from me, but I pray you find a path to hope and peace and forgiveness.

Lindsey