I don't know about that

I don’t know about that

Recently I watched this skit from Saturday Night Live about the new Amazon Echo Silver

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvT_gqs5ETk

I’ve watched it repeatedly. It’s quite hilarious. It involves seniors arguing with Amazon’s Alexa about things such as the weather outside, kids playing on the street and whether or not Satchel Page is alive (note: he died in 1982) and then they end with the senior saying “I don’t know about that.”

As some of you know my mom was moved into Cambridge Hills Assisted Living facility 2 years ago this month.  First off let me say I could not be happier with Cambridge. They have taken excellent care of my mom. She’s the happiest there I have seen her in a very long time. Anyone that reads this that has visited Cambridge to do any kind of outreach even just to say hey. I want to thank you for taking the time do that. My mom has loved it. Even if she can’t remember it.

I’m up there about 2-3 times a week to visit. I’ve made a lot of friends and have had many a discussion with the residents that end in “I don’t know about that.”

Example:

*Me walking down the hall to mom’s room*

Resident: You there! What day is it?
Me: Tuesday
Resident: What day?
Me: Tuesday
Resident: Tuesday?
Me: Yes Ma’am
Resident: I don’t know about that
*Resident walks off*

My mom was formally diagnosed with Dementia in Feb or 2012, however this diagnosis didn’t actually come until January of 2013. It was considered a retroactive diagnosis that we couldn’t confirm until that point. After talking to friends, family and co-workers thru the years I think the signs may have manifested themselves as early as the summer of 2009. Random things here and there that all came to a head in January of 2013 when she ended up in the hospital for almost 2 weeks.

It was nice in a way to have everything we had suspected confirmed. Then we were faced with what to do next. We prayed about it and figured we would try to keep her in her apartment as long as we could and proceed with planning for the day when we would have to move her in. This most certainly was a struggle. There was legal paper work to get completed, disability claims, financial issues to sort. By the grace of God we were able to have most of that taken care of by the end of 2013.

I got into a routine of coming over to visit right after work (usually bring fast food from somewhere) and hanging out for at least an hour. I had other people I had enlisted to come by and visit during the day. I ended being there most days right around 4 and watching the Young and the Restless with her. There was no talking allowed during Y&R so I would just read the paper or surf the web on my phone. Then mom started asking questions about what was going on in the show. If I tried to make something up she would know. If I said I didn’t know she would get upset. So I had to start paying attention to the show so I could answer her questions. Eventually, I got hooked on the show and was watching it more than she was. When we moved her to Cambridge the promptly stopped watching Y&R as well as smoking. While I didn’t miss having to buy her cigarettes for about a month I kept wondering what Victor Newman was up to.

Overall, my mom’s physical, emotional and spiritual health have improved dramatically at Cambridge even as her mental health has gradually declined. She eats 3 good meals a day. She walks around for exercise. She has friends she hangs out with in the activity room. She also attends the various church outreach services they have throughout the month.

Part of my mom’s particular type of dementia involves created memories. She patches gaps in her memories with invented stories, that she believes are real. This is for both short term and long term memory. Her stories are always quite amusing. I figured I would share a couple of them for you mainly for the fact that I believe should in general do your best to find the humor in things as the struggle is real.

The one where I invented Spider-Man

*In the room of a fellow resident who has a Spider-Man gift bag*
Mom: Hey, I know that! *pointing at bag*
Me: Oh yeah?
Mom: Yes! That’s Spider-Man!
Me: Yes it is.
Mom: You invented Spider-Man.
Me: Uh I have a bunch of Spider-Man comics, but someone else invented him.
Mom: I don’t know about that.

The one where she went dancing in the woods

Mom: Have you met this lady her? *I’m leaving out names of other residents*
*It’s important to note that I get introduced about 2-3 times a week to the people on her hallway. Many of them think this is the first time they have met me, including my mom.
Mom: Me and her used to go dancing back in the day.
*Mom had never met this lady before she moved into the room close to hers*
Mom: Yeah, there was this cabin the woods with a bunch of trees and a wood pile. We would dance there.
Me: Nice to meet you ma’am.

The one where she started texting the DA’s office.

Mom still has her cellphone presently. Thought she has only successfully answers a call about once a month or less. She never really grasped texting before dementia definitely not after.

Mom: I heard from my friend so-n-so the other day.
Me: Oh yeah? (She hasn’t talked to so-n-so in 10+years)
Mom: Yeah on the phone! Look at it.
Me: Uh, ok.
*I scroll thru the phone and find she hasn’t answered a call in a while or made one either. She does have a string of text messages with someone in the DA’s office in Baltimore, Maryland who happens to have the same first name as mom’s friend*

The one where Lindsey is synonymous with anyone who wears scrubs.

Mom: Do you like my toe nails? *takes off her shoe/sock to shoe me*
Me: Yes, they look really nice.
Mom: Lindsey came over this morning and did them!
Me: Oh.
Mom: Yes, she’s a nurse and she works at the big duke.

Mom: What’s your wifes name?
Me: Lindsey.
Mom: That’s right! And she’s a nurse?
Me: Yes ma’am.
Mom: At the Duke hospital?
Me: Yes.
Mom: She came by and took my b/p this morning. I guess it was on her way to work.
Me: I don’t think that was her.
Mom: I don’t know about that.

*My mom remembers Lindsey being a nurse and therefore all nurses, or anyone that resembles a nurse is now Lindsey. *

The one where Pastor Dave raises her from the dead.

This here is my favorite one. She told it every visit for about 2-3 months. To set some context. Mom went into the hospital with bronchitis/pneumonia in Jan 2013 she was really sick and was in there for about 10 days. However, she never coded or was even in critical condition at any time.

Lots of people visited her from the Antioch family in that time including Pastor Dave. People also occasionally bring her snacks when they visit her at Cambridge. If you are interested, take her small bags of chips & cans of Pepsi.

*In Mom’s room where she sees Pastor Dave’s card on her mirror*
Mom: *reading the card* David Chambers, he’s your boss right?
Me: Yes, Ma’am.
Mom: You worked with him a long time.
Me: Over 10 years now.
Mom: He came into my hospital room when I was sick with the bronchitis. I wasn’t breathing and they had put the sheet on me. David walks into the room and *her she pauses for dramatic effect and then claps her hands together loudly*
I TOOK A BREATHE!
Mom: Then he said “What are you doing? This woman’s alive! Phyllis what can I do for you?” and then I said “Bring me some snacks!:
*Mom walks over to her snack basket*
Mom: Then he brought me these chips here.

Have a great Memorial Day weekend!

Sola Scriptura

Pastor Glen