Love Stinks

Love Stinks


"I've had the blues
The reds and the pinks
One thing for sure
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah" - J. Geils Band, Love Stinks

Back in my late teens/early 20's me and my buddies you to gather together at our friend Nick's house. This was typically on weekends with his parents out of town. Let me preface this with we were all Christian at this point. So we had a good time, we also had a nice sober time. We would stay up late drinking MT Dew, eating Goldfish and watching "The Wedding Singer" which is easily one of Adam Sandler's best movies. My favorite part was near the beginning. Adam's character was broken heart and having to sing at a wedding reception. Things took a bitter turn and this happened.

I laugh at that part every time. I even watched the youttube clipc multiple times while working on this blog. I felt this was appropriate at Valentine's day. Because, well sometimes love does stink.

Love is tough. Love is messy. Love is hard. No Glen, you say. Love is rainbows, and puppies and candy cane wishes! At Valentine's day people are prone to try grand romantic gestures. Things like
Elaborate proposals.

Spelling things with Roses.

I love you Scavenger hunts.

Even hoisting a boombox in the air.

That's all well and good. However, if that's our only concept of love then we will spend most of life feeling empty and disappointed. Maybe left out that no one every did anything like that for you? Maybe disappointed that your spouse or SO stopped doing those things long ago? Maybe overwhelmed by the thought of not being able to meet those expectations? It's enough to make you want to sing a long with J. Geils himself.

How do we avoid that? With a question.

What is the single greatest act of love committed in the whole of human history? There's only one answer.

That is not a warm and fuzzy image. It is painful to look at and I am certain that if you were there in person it did not smell good. However, this is the purest form of love. Sacrifice. This is the part we tend to skip in our relationships. As one of my former pastors used to tell me. Love is a statement of commitment evidenced by unconditional sacrifice. Here is where we are made whole. Complete. At the cross.

There was a line in Jerry Maquire where he told his girl "You complete me."  Beautiful Sentiment. Real tear jerker of a scene. No way that relationship lasted. You can't look for completion in another person. It's not fair to them or to you.

When we look for completeness in someone else. We won't find it. Another human being was never meant to complete us. Completeness is only found in Jesus. Jesus model the picture of perfect love for us. He did the grandest, of grand romantic gestures. He died for us. Took the penalty for our sins and did so with joy.

Hebrews 12:2 "looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

This year, whether single or celebrating your 50th anniversary. Remember what Christ did for you. Remember how much He loves you and then show that love to others. Especially those that don't deserve it, because they need it most.

Pastor Glen

Hello from the other side . . .

Yes, I hope you heard that in Adele's voice.

I'm on the other side now. The side where I have a full time job and a stay at home husband. It's kind of a weird place. But fitting, I guess, since we're kind of weird people.

I've wanted to write for a while now about why I chose to work at Person Memorial. It's one of those things I didn't really understand myself until recently.

So let's go back to my baby nurse days as a new grad at Durham (Duke) Regional. I loved this job. I loved the people I worked with. I learned SO much there. Talk about an amazing group of folks! Laurie, Heather x 2, Megan, Shannon, Emily, Beth, Iris, Chris, Jenn, Ashley, Brad, Jaimie Matt, Shanjay, Whitney, Janet, Julie x 2 and Patti (and I'm sure I missed some)- YOU GUYS ROCK! Thanks for making my first nursing job such a great experience. Many of you are still there, so that says a lot about your commitment to each other, the hospital and your patients.

As a brand new baby nurse I simultaneously looked forward to and dreaded working with Brad. He was a great charge nurse. He'd the be the first one in your room to help with an ems patient and I knew I could go to him if I started to get overwhelmed. However, first thing in the morning before we'd go out to the floor he'd give me these patient scenarios and ask me (what I thought at the time were awful) questions, in front of everyone. And I hated it. I hated being put on the spot and not always knowing the answers. But let me tell you, it motivated me to find out, because I knew he was going to ask me again the next day/shift until I could tell him.  I became a much better nurse because of it.  Thank you, Brad.

Time went by and we celebrated marriages and new babies together and some people moved on. My own leaving of DRH was gradual. After Anna-Kathryn was born I went part-time. Then after Sam I went PRN 1 day a week. One day a week doesn't sound like much, but as a mama of a 3yr old, 2 yr old and an infant I was overwhelmed and in over my head. And one night sitting on the couch I was crying, feeling worn thin and like I couldn't do it all, and everyone was suffering. Glen says to me, "Just quit. Just turn in your notice and be done. You can always go back later if you want." And that's exactly what I did. So in a rush of emotion, I emailed my manager and resigned. Though I feel like I never said a proper goodbye to my friends and co-workers. And for that I'm sorry! You each helped me develop as a nurse and a person and I'm grateful for each of you.

It was the best decision for our family at the time.

I had great highs and lows as a stay at home mom. It was infinitely difficult and rewarding. Though I constantly struggled with "enough" Am I doing enough? Are the kids smart enough? Do we eat healthy enough? Do we have enough money? Are we reading enough? Do the kids have enough friends, activities, toys, love . . .After much struggling I finally came to a place of contentment. What a relief. What a blessing to know peace, to know that I'm never going to be "enough," but that God is. And if I'm seeking Him first in all that I do, I don't have to worry. Though I still have to preach this to myself daily. God is enough!

During my three years "at home", we moved twice, started homeschooling, started full time care for Glen's mom and eventually moved her into assisted living, all while Glen's responsibilities/demands at work increased and his pay did not. Glen struggled with depression and I had my own dark days at times. In it all, I'm so thankful I was able to be at home during those times of stress and transition. And by God's grace we were able to pull together instead of falling apart under the pressure.

Then in the fall when we first began considering "switching places" I automatically assumed I'd go back to DRH. I knew people there. I had good experiences there. I was a little hesitant to jump back in to the ED after being out of nursing for 3 years. I felt rusty and a bit like that baby new grad starting over. So the more I thought about it, I decided that the mother/baby unit might be just the thing for me. A fresh start. I love to minister to and encourage women. I LOVE babies, obviously! lol. So it seemed like the perfect fit. I put in an application. I had a friend that knew the manager of the dept and we started talking. I went for an interview and even went for a job shadow. I was offered the job. It was great, I thought everything was set.

Insert God's plans are not always my plans.

I felt strangely compelled to put in an application at Person Memorial, against what I felt was my better judgment. To be honest, I didn't have a high regard for the hospital and had only heard rumors of bad experiences. So I reluctantly interviewed and was offered the job. After much prayerful consideration I couldn't shake the feeling that I should accept the job. I'd love to say I was obedient right away and accepted joyfully. But, I waited until the last possible minute and kind of hoping it might be a test of willingness like when Abraham was asked to sacrifice Isaac, and that my Ram in the thicket would be the job of my choice. But alas, I begrudgingly said yes to God and accepted the job at Person.

The pro side of my pro/con list was short. It's close to home.

But as usual, when I started to realign myself to God's plan my perspective changed. What I'm beginning to see, is the opportunity to serve my community. People that know me, that know my family, that go to my church and live and work here. These are my people. I have the unique chance to be there when they are hurting, scared or grieving. And you know what? Now, I want to be there.

I want to be a great nurse who brings quality care and the love of Jesus to my people. I'm far from perfect, but I want to, in some small way, bring hope and healing to hurting bodies and souls.

And I've met some pretty cool people along the way. There are some great nurses, paramedics, and our fantastic tech. I have hope that we can pull together to bring excellent care to the people of Person County.

So here I sit, on the other side. Reminiscing over the events that have brought me to this place, and in awe of how God weaves my life in ways I'd never expect. I thank God for each of you that have played, are playing, and will play a part in the fabric of my life.