This past weekend my lovely wife went on our churches ladies retreat. This also involved my mother-in-law, and my step-mom. So, for those of you doing the math this meant that everyone that most consistently helps in keeping the children were all gone out of town at the same time. I took Friday off to stay home with the kids and get in some good daddy time.
Friday went rather well. The girls helped me clean up (as much as preschoolers can help with that) and my son successfully ate all the fruit in the house. We went to Chik-Fil-A for lunch and that night the girls and I went to see Winnie the Pooh with my dad, while my father in law kept my son. Saturday we stayed at home and watched disney movies, played outside in the woods, and my neighbor let the girls climb on his backhoe.
Sunday was the challenge. I had to get myself and all three kids ready for church. This is an event every single Sunday morning even with my wife there much less with out her. Being Associate Pastor I usually get there around 9:15 or so to start getting everything ready for worship.
8:00 AM Sunday morning and I am doing well! Everyone has eaten breakfast. I have clothes picked out, which is quite the challenge for me, I am dressed, my girls are dressed, and my son is content wobbling around and pushing his chair. Then my youngest daughter, the boo, goes "Daddy! There's an ant!" and I look down at the chair next to the couch and indeed there is an ant. There are several ants actually. Wait a minute that's like a huge line of ants, doing the conga, going under the couch. So I pull back the couch and the chair and I find an Alien Ant Farm!!
Well, it seemed like that. I see a huge mass of black that is not dirt, but ants, swarming on a leftover lollipop that was under the couch. The boo starts screaming because she is scared of ants. Since she is screaming my oldest starts screaming, because she climbed on the counter and then my son took her chair so she is stuck up there and is afraid the ants will get her. So I go get her down from the kitchen counter, the boo is now crying from the ants and my son has walked over the ants and started picking up things from the ant covered section of the floor and is trying to eat them. So I pick my son up and take away his ant candy and he starts screaming. Around this time the phone rings and one of my Sunday School teachers is sick and needs someone to cover for him and his normal backup is unavailable today. I may never actually make it to church!
I put my son and my oldest in her room so they can play, without eating ants. I then go get the Clorox water spray bottle and begin to hose down the ants. While I am spraying them the boo cheers me on saying "Daddy! You are my hero!" After about 5 minutes of spraying I finally have quelled the ant invasion. Fantastic!
Wait, the furniture is all over the place, I'm in my dress clothes, and now there is a lovely mixture of dead ants, dirt and clorox all over the living room floor. So I get out some towels and the swifter and begin mopping like it's closing time at the Homestead. I get done with the mopping and my oldest comes out of her room locking her brother in there and then she sees more ants and runs and jumps on the couch with the boo. Some ants have tried to escape! They were still hiding under the couch when I moved it. So I move the couch back, with the girls on it, and the boo loses her balance and falls onto the floor into the remaining pile of ants. The boo is not amused. So I get her up and brush off the ants and place her on the couch. I defeat the remaining ants and mop that area as well. By this point I have mopped the entire living room and a decent part of the kitchen without bleaching any of my dress clothes. I finish putting the furniture back and now it is 8:45.
I scramble to find someone to cover the SS class (thanks Jason!) and to finish getting the kids ready. On the way to the church the girls discuss the excitement of the morning. My oldest remarks "I helped Daddy! I squished one with my foot!" so the Boo responds "and I squished them with my belly!" I finally laugh for the first time that morning, realizing I was stressing over unimportant things. We make it to church right around 9:20! Victory!
I take away from this weekend one very important fact. How my wife ever gets anywhere with three kids is a miracle that I don't appreciate nearly enough. :-)
Glen
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