They only move forward

They only move forward

So, me and my buddies used to play this game:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heroscape

You built a map and then drafted an army and would try to either defeat the other armies and/or achieve your objective. You could build some really cool looking maps.

However, with a game like this you would have to set everything up on a different day then when you actually played it or you spent more time in setup than you did in actual game play. My friend the Swoosh always had a very interesting strategy with his units “They only move forward” he would say.  I think it worked more often then it didn’t and it was always quite entertaining. The tendency in a game like this, and life in general, was to avoid risks and playing not to lose vs. playing to win. Pretty profound thought from a board game but God has filled our lives with teachable moments some more obvious than others. 

Tennis Shoes and a Suit

I’ve had a speed impediment my entire life (still do) but I was in speech classes for most of elementary school and I learned a lot of tips/tricks to deal with it. It’s only noticeable if you spend a lot of time with me. I also discovered via PE and attempting to play sports that I was horribly uncoordinated. When puberty hit it brought with it some rather severe “flash” migraines. Imagine having the collective pain of an entire migraine in roughly 30 seconds in the form of a pulsating wave that drives you to your knees and ends with you vomiting. These were usually triggered by motion like running, tennis, basketball, swinging, trampolines, etc. I would talk to Doctors about them but not really get an answer and since they were sporadic I just learned to deal with them. I equally have spent most of my life feeling nauseous more often than not especially first thing in the morning.  I never thought all these things were related.

Late 2000 I started getting a tingling in my pinkies kind of like when your foot falls asleep only milder and it wouldn’t go away. I also started having more co-ordination issues than normal. My girlfriend (now wife) bugged me enough to see a doctor about it. I was thinking that being an IT guy that Carpal Tunnel had come early. I was wrong. After a few months of testing, x-rays, and one rather amusing test that involved strapping me to a chair and shocking my arms to watch nerve conduction they scheduled an MRI for me. 

 I was diagnosed with this: Chiari 1 Malformation

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chiari_malformation#cite_note-Conquer_Chiari.2C_Connective_Tissue_Disorders-9

To spare you all the medical mumbo jumbo my brain is too large for my skull.  It explains all my various assorted symptoms and even ones I never thought much about. So within 2 weeks of diagnosis in April of 2001 I had this done:

http://www.mayfieldchiaricenter.com/chiari_surgery.php

I don’t mention all this to gain sympathy. In fact I’ve been resistant to write much about it or share it a lot specifically for that fact. It’s something I’ve learned to live with and in the list of things to have there are much much worse things. I’ve been blessed with the ability to live a normal life minus restrictions.

http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Neurological-Disorders/Activities-to-avoid-with-Chiari-and-Syringomyelia/show/986?cid=186

http://community.pressenter.net/~wacma/bhm-list.htm

As a bonus I have a medically documented reason to always wear Tennis shoes and casual clothing.  Most days it doesn’t bother me that much and I run about 80% of capacity. When the situation calls for it I can usually push past that with Caffeine & Ibuprofen but there is usually a price to pay for how long I do it and how much down time I will have after that. So for the month of October I pretty much ran at full throttle almost every day with everything we had going on. That finally came home to roost this week and it’s been rough and I have spent most of this week feeling sorry for myself and angry at my body and ultimately God for letting me be born this way and not removing it even though I have prayed about it repeatedly across the last 12 years or so.

Then the Lord used Agents of Shield (one of my 2 favorite shows this year along with CW’s excellent Arrow) to put me back in my place and remind me that His grace is enough.  

Quotes from Agents of Shield: Episode 6

*Agent May is looking at huge scar on Agent Colson as a result of a previous mission in which he almost died*

Agent May: "Whether it was 8 seconds or 40, you died. There's no way you can go through a trauma like that and not come out of it changed. You know how long it's taken me to --"

Agent Coulson: "I know."

Agent May: "The point of these things is to remind us that ... There is no going back -- there's only moving forward. You feel different because you are different."

It hit me right in my wheelhouse.

The Thorn in the Flesh

⁷ And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. ⁸ Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. ⁹ And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. ¹⁰ Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

God fills our lives with teachable moments, some more obvious than others. Thanks Lord. 

- Glen