Man of Constant Sorrow

Man of Constant Sorrow

Years ago there was a movie called “O Brother, Where are thou?”  and the success of movie repopularized and old folk song from the great depression era named “Man of Constant Sorrow”. 

In the song the man sings of how he’s seen trouble all his day, has no friends and has found no pleasures here on this earth. A common theme during such a difficult part of history. 

Depression is a common part of the human experience. Everyone occasionally feels blue or sad. Sometimes those feelings are short lived and pass in a couple of days, sometimes they stick around and can interfere with your ability to work, eat, sleep, study or just go about your daily life. Major depressive disorder is one of the most common mental disorders in the United States. Each year about 6.7% of U.S adults experience major depressive disorder. We don’t like to talk about this in the church though. We don’t like to admit that anything is wrong, as if it is some kind of sin to feel sad, to feel worn down, to admit that we have no idea what God is doing or why. We just come to church, put on a happy face and fake it until we make it right? 

Would it surprise you to find out that Jesus himself was a man of constant sorrow?  Isa 53:3 “A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. At Easter we talk a lot about the crucifixion and the physical pain that our Lord went through but we tend to overlook the emotional pain that he experienced. 

In fact I suppose if there was anything that dominated his entire life it was suffering. Grief had been his constant companion all through his life. Sin, disease, unbelief, doubt, disobedience, ignorance, rejection were all around him all through his life and ministry. Our Lord faced sorrow upon sorrow, yet no sorrow previously experienced can compare to the week before the crucifixion. Before Jesus came to the cross, he came to the garden, and we get a better understanding of his suffering on the cross by understanding his suffering in the garden. When we understand his suffering in the garden we get a deep insight into how painful the cross would be. We get a great insight into how greatly he loved the father, how devoted he was to the father's will, how greatly he and the father loved us sinners. Turn if you would to Matthew 26:36-45

Matthew 26:36-45
³⁶ Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to the disciples, “Sit here while I go and pray over there.” ³⁷ And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and He began to be sorrowful and deeply distressed. ³⁸ Then He said to them, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me.”

The last supper is over, they sang a hymn and went out. Judas is on his way to collect his 30 pieces of silver for betraying Jesus. It is getting late and the darkest night of his life is upon him. They get to this garden, named Gethsemane. While people lived in the city their gardens were on the hillsides around the city. So they were away from the noise of being in town and were in the quiet of the country side. Jesus has his disciples sit and wait, and then takes Peter, James and John with him for encouragement and prayer. 

Throughout the gospels Jesus has an inner circle within the disciples. Jesus had an inner circle comprised of Peter, James, and John. He took them on special outings (see Matthew 17:1). He allowed them to witness his greatest glory (see Mark 9:2–3) and his deepest temptation (see Mark 14:33–34). He prayed with them (see Luke 9:28f). He taught them things He did not teach the others (see Matthew 17:2; Mark 5:37–43). He even introduced them to His heavenly family (see Matthew 17:3). They were his closest friends and confidants.

Why those three and not the others? My guess comes from John 16:12 "“I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now." I think he showed those that would understand the most. The others may have been overwhelmed by what they would have seen there. What does he say to them? 

 My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me. The greek word for distressed in verse 37 is the strongest of three greek words in the NT for depression. It signifies such a sorrow that makes a man neither fit for company nor desirous of it. Like a heavy weight upon the chest.

Psalm 22:14-15” I am poured out like water,
And all My bones are out of joint;
My heart is like wax;
It has melted within Me.
¹⁵ My strength is dried up like a potsherd,
And My tongue clings to My jaws;
You have brought Me to the dust of death”

 

Have you ever been there? Not everyone has. It’s a miserable place to be. I’ve spent the better part of this month there. It’s been difficult, and it’s hard to even share that out loud with you today. The month started with a two week visit from 4 high ranking VIP’s at work. A visit from one of them is a full time job with 4 of them it was insanity running between all the “urgent” requests. We upgraded all of our servers which knocked a lot of people offline temporarily who also were trying to get urgent things done from the VIP’s which involved a lot of blaming and anger towards me over things not in my control. I was working 10-11 hour days and that didn’t even involve the things I normally do all of which were having to be put on hold for two weeks. By the time I would get home my kids would in bed or getting ready for it and since I leave before they wake up I didn’t get to see them much. 

To add to this I also take care of my mom who is 3+ years into dementia and towards the end of her ability to stay by herself. I pay her bills, run her errands, buy her groceries and visit her daily. She expects me at a certain time and when I’m not there at that time she gets upset and starts calling me. She got upset a lot the first half of this month. I prayed a lot in these two weeks. But every time I did it seemed to make things worse. I prayed for help and a server crashes. I prayed for help and I get thrown under the bus by a co-worker. I pray for help and my mom’s refrigerator dies and leaks all over the floor. Disheartening to say the least. 

Finally, the two weeks are up and it’s Friday, Friday the 13^th.  The VIP’s have gone back home. I leave at lunch time and try to catch up with life. I get a couple of errands done and finally with my house almost in sight after being gone for so long my work phone rings. A pipe burst in the facility and soaked a key workstation that I have to replace immediately. My frustration with life and with God is close to boiling over because I can’t seem to catch a break and I start to ask God what he is doing, why this is happening, how could this be loving and is he enjoying watching me suffer? I’m reminded that God loves me and I soldier on. 

I get home hug my family and then turn around and go right back to work, working late again to replace the computer. Saturday morning I wake up sick, by Saturday evening I have a fever and chills which I would eventually lead to flu/pneumonia, Monday I wake up with no voice and a severe sore throat. I attempt to go to work Tuesday/Wednesday but by Thursday morning I almost pass out in the shower and Lindsey takes me to urgent care.

Now I’m at the urgent care about once/twice a year usually with some kind of stomach bug. So I go to check in explain my symptoms and they pull my information. I accidently hand them my mom’s insurance card instead of mine. I can’t find mine. This sets off 30 minutes of the people at the front running around typing furiously and then running around more. Then they tell me that BCBS has dropped me and I don’t have insurance. I tell them that they are mistaken and that I’ve had the same job and same insurance for 5 years and if they would just check what they have on file it should be fine. They don’t want to do this for whatever reason and then proceed to tell me that they can’t help me since I don’t have insurance or a huge wade of and that I need to leave. I call Lindsey who is across town and she is on her way to get me but it will be about 15 minutes. I hang up, sitting there, barely able to stay awake and look to God too sick to even muster the slightest bit of anger and  I ask “Are you sure you don’t hate me right now?” and then silence.

Have you been there? Not all of you have but I see on your faces that some of you might be there right now. I’m here to tell that it’s ok, everything is not awesome and the struggle is real. Our Lord faced the same struggle.

³⁹ He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.”
⁴⁰ Then He came to the disciples and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, “What! Could you not watch with Me one hour? ⁴¹ Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

So in his pain, our Lord turns to prayer. The struggle now is a struggle over whether he is willing to go the cross. It is frightening, terrifying and he asks if there's any way it can be avoided. Maybe the echo of Satan's temptation from Matthew 4 when he went into the wilderness, and Satan tempted him the gist of Satan's temptation was you're the son of God. You're the son of God, why should you be hungry? You're the son of God, why should you be rejected? You're the son of God, why shouldn't you rule? Grab some satisfaction. You're entitled to it. That temptation may have come back. Why are you anticipating this pain? Why are you looking at this suffering? You're the son of God, you don't deserve this. Yet, the father’s will does not change, the plan stays track. In his anguish he turns to his friends and finds them sleeping. No help is found there. No relief.

⁴² Again, a second time, He went away and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if this cup cannot pass away from Me unless^[e] I drink it, Your will be done.” ⁴³ And He came and found them asleep again, for their eyes were heavy.

What is the cup? In John 18, In Matthew 20 Jesus said “There’s a cup and I have to drink it”. The cup is tied to Divine wrath. You see in both the Old and New Testaments. It represents the punishment of God against sin and he is saying I don’t want to drink from this cup. On the cross Christ did not become a sinner, but He drank the cup of God’s wrath against all sinners. He came to seek and save the lost. The thought of drinking this cup was almost more than he could bear. Luke we see that he was so sorrowful, so anxious that he began to sweat great drops of blood. In verse 38 Jesus says that His soul is sorrowful even to death. At this point he is sweating blood so it was no mere figure of speech. He was well on his way to dying long before the first lash hit his back, the first nail pierced his skin. I wonder if on the cross rather than dying from the thorns, the lashing, the spear, the nails and asphyxiation. I wonder if he died of a broken heart. That he died of a broken heart because of the sheer agony of the cross. The anguish before he even gets there is enough to threaten his life. 

Those of you familiar with both emotional and physical pain a lot of the time will point to the emotional pain being worse. There’s medicine we can take often for physical pain. There are procedures and surgeries we can have. Yet, there’s no pill for a broken heart. Sure, we try to do things to numb the pain of it but they are all temporary and most of them are self-destructive.Christ in the apex of human emotional suffering does none of those things. Instead he says 4 words. “Your will be done.”

⁴⁴ So He left them, went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words. ⁴⁵ Then He came to His disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Behold, the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is being betrayed

The disciples are still asleep. Through the olive trees he sees the torches, he sees the mob coming towards him. He maybe even sees Judas in the front leading the group. The hour is now. The last temptation is over. He has committed himself to the father’s will, he is facing the cross. He doesn’t tell the disciples pretend to keep sleeping, or let’s run away. He says Arise. Get up. Let’s go forward and face this head on. Devotion to his father’s will, trust in His father’s plan, knowledge of his father’s love not only allowed him to face his betrayer, but to walk into it head on. 

Those of that are struggling with pain, sadness, depression I am here to tell you that our hope does not reside in our ability to preserve a good mood but in His ability to bear us up. Jesus will never abandon us because of our downcast heart. Charles Spurgeon, one of the best preachers & authors the church has produced, was no stranger to depression himself. He said “Let your weakness plead with God through Jesus Christ. His mercies are large enough, deep enough, wide enough, high enough to hold secure what you cannot. Grace for your need rises to the occasion.” Our hope is not our health mental or physical health but His ability to be the strength we need. 

Back at the urgent care I told you in my pain and sorrow I cried out “God are you sure you don’t hate me?” and then silence. I just sat there for a couple of minutes broken, defeated, lost. Then God answered me, in one of the surest signs he has ever given me that He loves me. My wife. Lindsey shows up with BCBS on the phone. Now if you know my wife you know she is very peaceful and non-confrontational. However, once you’ve gotten her angry enough to where she isn’t apologize, immediately, repent in sack cloth and ashes it is not something you want to experience. People have lost their teeth. She goes to the front desk and sets them straight, quickly and authoritatively. I got some much needed medical attention and began the long road to healing.  

Man of Constant sorrows ended with this lyric “But there is one promise that is given
I'll meet you on God’s golden shore.”

The glory of Easter, of the resurrection of Jesus is this Hebrews 4:15 “For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.” –Jesus understands what you are dealing with even when no one else does. Therefore we can boldly go to the throne of Grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.