More than a healing

More than a healing

“I looked up this morning and saw the Son of God
It turned out He knew me and called my name
"You're lost," He said, "but I can heal your soul."
And now my eyes see a different way” – More than a Healing – Apologetix

The Dad Life

I enjoy being a father. I vaguely remember life before kids, and I wonder what I did all the time? I distinctly remember there was nowhere near as many dishes or loads of laundry. I am very glad that as a newlywed I took my wife's advice and bought nice, reliable, washer & dryer. Of course now that I typed this, that means both will likely be broken when I get home, but that’s ok we have an excellent appliance repair guy. 

So, I read a lot of parenting articles/blogs and I’m even in a couple of online parenting communities. I’ve also had some impressive misadventures in trying to take paternity leave so these articles peaked my interest.

http://www.christianitytoday.com/women/2014/january/why-we-need-paternity-leave.html?start=1

http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2013/12/the-risky-business-of-paternity-leave/282688/

I converted to Christianity in February of 1998 (which means I will be 16 next month!) one of my very first prayers was (and still is) to be a Godly husband & father. I knew so many people that had miserable family lives growing up that I didn’t want that to be my legacy.

When I first went to work for the bank, the bank offered 2 weeks paid paternity leave for fathers. I’m not sure what it offered mothers since it didn’t apply to me, being single & male. As people had children in my department I would volunteer to help cover their shifts, so they could take their leave with a minimal amount of drama. I was happy to do this. I still am. I did this from 2000-2008. Finally, in August of 2008 Lindsey was due with our first child. I was excited about becoming a father and getting to spend two weeks at home adjusting to the new normal.

Of course in July of 2008, megabank outsourced us and the contracting firm that picked us up didn’t offer paternity leave and having only worked for them for less than a month I wasn’t eligible for FMLA and had no PTO accrued. My boss gave me 3 days without pay which was the best he could do and he wished he could do more. It was a bit disappointing to say the least, but kudos to my parents, in-laws and church family for pitching in to help so much especially those first 6 weeks.

Later on when we discovered Lindsey was pregnant with our second child, I went to my boss (the same guy who gave me the 3 days unpaid) and said ok when first child was born I didn’t get to take any time off. When second child is born I would like to take two weeks off with pay using my PTO which I was saving specifically for this. That manager agreed to this and approved it. Then shortly after that he was promptly re-assigned to another department. Across the course of Lindsey’s second pregnancy I believe I had either 3 of 4 managers. Each one of them I made the same request and each one of them approved it. The 4^th manager took over 2 weeks before AK was born. He also said congrats and that the 2 weeks shouldn’t be a problem. 

 

So then AK was born, we rejoiced, I notified my manager, my department, and most of my users. Everyone said congrats and see you in two weeks. Three days later my manager (who had approved the leave) called me yelling & screaming because I wasn’t at work. I was dumb founded (and sleep deprived)  and explained “my wife just had a baby and I’m on my approved paternity leave” he continued to berate me and state that it wasn’t approved, I didn’t have any PTO (which I did) and that there was no one to do my work. Had my wife not been in the room with me, I would have lost my job and my witness during that phone call. I remained calm, through gritted teeth, and firmly held my ground that I was going to take that time off one way or the other. He finally hung up after telling me I wouldn’t be paid for any of it. He then spent the next two weeks assigning work to me and refusing to let anyone in my department cover it. He then yelled at me when I got back to work for being so behind. Even a month later, when he was no longer my manager, he would still call me occasionally to blame me for stuff and yell.  As you might imagine he did not win boss of the year. When I gave my exit interview in August of that year I cited him as an example of what was wrong with their company and why I was leaving.

We can’t as a society say we value family and then punish and or ridicule people for placing family first.

If it were solely up to me (which it isn’t) new fathers could take 6 weeks paid paternity and 12 weeks paid for mothers. They can do this for every child. They would be encouraged to do this and they could do so knowing that their job would be there when they got back. Everyone else would help cover for them understanding that family is of greater importance than business/work/profit. This is a good long term investment to make in ones employees, as well as society as a whole. Of course, like with anything there are people who would object to this. Most of those objections can be boiled down to “I don’t like this because I don’t directly and/or immediately benefit from it.” After all this is why we object to most of things. We don’t want things to be fair or just. We want things to be tilted in our favor. 

You can tell what a societies values by who they pay the most. Who do we pay the most? If you said executives & CEO’s you are mostly wrong. Those with the highest salaries are those who entertain us. We as a society value entertainment and fear boredom more than anything. We will give some lip service to valuing family, but for the most part it is just that. What do you value? How would people who know you answer that question? 

This is why people are so horrible on Facebook.

Have you ever wondered why people are mean/nasty on facebook, social media and the internet in general? There’s been a lot of studies about it and it’s called the online disinhibition effect. This is a loosening (or complete abandonment) of social restrictions and inhibitions that would otherwise be present in normal face-to-face interaction during interactions with others on the Internet. This effect is caused by many factors, including dissociative anonymity, invisibility, asynchronicity, solipsistic introjection, dissociative imagination, and minimization of authority. 

That’s a mouthful. I’ll give the PG version of the explanation you’ll find at the end of the wiki article explaining ODE.

Actually, it’s just the heart revealing its true nature. Any doubt people are sinners? That people are born in sin and it’s their true nature? Pick a news site (anyone you want) pick an article (again almost anyone you want) and then read the comments section. Fair warning though: 

We see things like this and we think well if we just change the rules/email/protest/vote/elect/punish /fund/defund etc. etc. Everything will be all right. It won’t. While all those things can work as a check against the problem of sin none of them act as the cure.

There is only one cure. Jesus Christ.

Eph 1:7 “In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace”

Chorus:
It's more than a healing (More than a healing)
Yes, the Lord's something more than a healer
And I think He's really (More than a healing)
Everything I'll ever want
I see my friends and they're walkin' away

So many things that I'd done were wrong
My faith was faded, my tears run dry
But God still recalled when I was so young
The prayer I'd begun when I was a child
CHORUS

Man, I'm tired of sinkin' low
I've had it with useless regret-filled days
I'm leavin' the world I used to know
'Cause now my eyes see a different way
A different way
CHORUS

Ephesians 1:18
I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints...

Glen